Dealing with difficult people
Thanks for all of the great feedback so far! I am very glad that people are reading this and I love getting so many questions. Please let me know what’s on your mind.
I knew that I would get this post out of the way early because it is a topic that I talk about all of the time.
Other people can make you hate your Job
Dealing with difficult people can make even the best job a nightmare. Human interaction can actually be the hardest part of some jobs. Challenges can run from inconsiderate co-workers who don’t make the next pot of coffee to bullies, saboteurs, credit stealers and manipulative bosses, the list goes on forever.
The fact that you need to get along well with other people at work to be successful seems like such a common sense topic. We all want to get along, do our best, and succeed. We also want people to think rationally, be respectful, considerate and helpful. So, let’s be realistic and face the fact that some people and situations can very be difficult to deal with.
There have been tons of articles and posts on this topic, so I don’t want to cover old ground, but the fact of the matter is that most people don’t actually know how to deal with these types of situations.
I will tell you here and now the best plan for dealing with all of these problems can come down to a single strategy.
Ready? …
… Make people like you!
People tend to not act like jerks to people that they like.
No kidding, you say?? Maybe I don’t want to be friends with the office bully! I am not suggesting that you should, but if they like you, your life will be infinitely more enjoyable.
The great thing is that there is a time tested and proven way to make people like you.
How to Win Friends and Influence People
I want you to get a copy of “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie. It will be without a doubt one of the most important books that you ever read. The last time I checked it was $11.78 in paperback from Amazon.
In high school I was an awkward teenager that didn’t really fit in, I found all the answers that worked for me in a book written in 1936 and of all the personal development materials that I have studied since, I have not yet found a more relevant or useful book.
I believe that every single person should be required to read Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People”. I have personally bought this book and handed it out to dozens of people. I re-read it at least once a year to remind myself of the principles.
This is Not Manipulation
I have gotten varying responses from people when I recommend this book or hand it to them. Most people are turned off by the title, thinking that it is a book about manipulation or salesmanship. This book could easily have been titled “How to deal with difficult people” or “How to actually BE a good person”
Do not dismiss this as an instruction book on how to be a fake person. I do not believe in insincerity and this book does not promote it. The simple truth is that to be more successful, the best place to start is by becoming a better person. This book is about what everyone was supposed to learn in grade school. You have nothing to lose but the time to read it.
It can change your Life
I would say that this one book has so shaped my life and my personality that it is the foundation of my career, of how I approach life and even the intent and content of this blog. From reflection on this one book I have established in myself the core belief that if I always put other people first, be sincere and help everyone that I can whether I get paid for it or not, then everything will work out for me.
I am not pushing this book because I want you to buy it from me. In fact, I am intentionally not putting up an affiliate link or selling the book directly.
What is it all about?
The book is broken into four parts addressing
Part 1: Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
- More Appropriate Title: (How to deal with difficult and rude people effectively)
Part 2: Ways to Make People Like You
- More Appropriate Title: (Ways to be a better person)
Part 3: How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking
- More Appropriate Title: (How to communicate more effectively)
Part 4: Be a Leader
- More Appropriate Title: (How to grow and succeed in Life)
I do not want to do a full review of the book that has been done well on other sites. Here is the best review that I found.
http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/06/10/review-how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people/
In order to be a Consulting Super Star you must be committed to continuing education and “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie is the most important textbook that you will ever own.
Please let me know what you think. If you read this book and think that it is a waste of your time I will be shocked.
What do you Think?
Have you read it? What is the most effective idea or most important principle to you?
-Mark
